Moving on

Hello, I’m having such a hard time moving on from my high school boyfriend. We were together for 5 years before he decided (out of the blue!) that he needed to “find himself” while away at college. It’s been a difficult year post break up. I’m doing better but still not over it. I keep asking myself the same questions about why he would tell me he loved me, take me engagement ring shopping then at the last minute decide he needed time and space and left. I haven’t heard from him in a year and I think it’s safe to say he never wants to try things again. O there’s no other girl (that I know of). It’s just hard for me to accept what has balled and move on