I have no idea what I'm doing

So my fiance? Boyfriend? Baby daddy? God I dont even know, we've been together almost nine years, yes that's long, anyway yesterday we had a date day. We walked around Salem MA, visiting the witch cemetery and museums and this was amazing for me, I LOVE shit like that. We live fairly close maybe a 40 mins drive and hes I'm construction so hes around the area often where as I'm never around it but I love it. I'm totally into that stuff so it was amazing for me. The entire time he just kept saying stuff like "this Is so boring but I guess if you're happy whatever" or "how is this different from any other time" this was our time alone with out the kids he told me he wouldn't drink he had 4 shots and 2 tall beers with lunch. He told me he'd LOVE to do that with me then complained the whole time. Then he saw people getting married at this church and said "I dont wanna hear a word about it, why ruin a good thing?" HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM 3 YEARS AGO!!!! WE PLANNED Q WDDING TWICE AND POST PONED BECAUSE OF HIM!! I love him i really do and hes seen nothing but bad relationships but I want marriage. We have 2 kids it's been 9 years I deserve it damn it. Am I over reacting here?