(Vent) I’m so sick of not being able to exercise

4 years ago I fractured my left hip, and ever since I’ve had severe hip pain all the time. To the point where I’d cry if I walked to much or sometimes couldn’t get out of bed. I frequently walked with a cane and my leg lost a lot of muscle and became a lot smaller than my right leg. It prevented me from doing almost any exercise, for years. I was about 125lbs (5’2”) when I fractured it.

Now years later I’m 175lbs and I hate my body. After tons of dr visits we finally figured out my pain was because I was pigeon toed (my leg turned inward). I had suggested that before but they insisted on eliminating every other possibility before agreeing with me. May 23rd I finally had corrective surgery. There’s already a lot less pain but I still can’t even put weight on the leg..but in about 5-6 months I should FINALLY be able to do low-impact exercises. I absolutely can’t wait. I feel so disgusted with myself and embarrassed. In about a year I should be able to start running which is my ultimate goal. That was the easiest way for me to lose weight/stay in shape before. My goal is to hopefully get down to about 135-140 with more muscle mass than before