Not excited...

So I am just a few weeks pregnant and I am not excited. My ex-husband and I tried so hard to have a baby and we couldn’t. Because of that (and a few other reasons of course) we divorced. I started dating someone and was having a great time going out and doing things. But he kept talking about a baby. I would just laugh it off and think he was joking since we had just been together about a month. Because I wasn’t with anyone after the divorce until my current boyfriend and didn’t need it during my marriage, I didn’t have birth control. My work was so crazy I didn’t have time to go get some so I relied on him to bring condoms. He would constantly ask not to use them and I would tell him to use them. One night we went out and I guess I had to much and to my surprise I blacked out after a few beers and one shot. I don’t even know how I got home. All I know is I woke up the next morning and I was naked and my boyfriend was next to me. I asked the dreaded question about him not using a condom. He said I told him that would be fine so he came in me. He said I didn’t seem drunk at all so he thought I was sober and thinking straight. Long story short...It wasn’t my ovulating time and because I couldn’t get pregnant with my ex I wasn’t to worried. I did take plan b but not till the third day because I was to hung over that day to go anywhere and the next day I had to work. Now I am pregnant!!!! My boyfriend is so excited and can’t wait to be a family and I don’t want to be. He has turned into someone I don’t like and I have to walk on egg shells when I am around him. I can’t get excited about the pregnancy and everyone is looking like there is something wrong with me. I don’t know how to be excited and I don’t know how to want the child at this point. I feel like a terrible person and I am becoming really depressed. Don’t know what to do now.