Nervous Wreck (Updated)

Updated: Maybe I’m just doomed to a sexless marriage. Got a shower. Shaved my legs. Put on some lingerie...black to try to help me feel better about my postpartum belly. And I went to try to get on our old bed. A bed that has survived two cross country moves and the slat on my side broke. So now I’ve got no bed. My parents are in the house. My kids are asleep. I had to take off my lingerie, but in some sweats, and go tell my husband my fat postpartum self broke one of the slats on the bed at 10 at night. Let me tell ya...the mood is pretty dead for me now.

Update2: yes, thank you. Our little one is getting better every day. Our pediatrician is hopeful by the two month mark, he will be markedly better. He’s digestive system was underdeveloped at birth. He throws up a lot. And has congestion from severe reflux. Causing excessive congestion. It causing him to struggle to breathe and thrash because he can’t breathe. It was a scary. But he’s improving everyday.

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My husband and I haven’t been intimate in months. I was pregnant. Having a rough go. I was sick. Like I got a sick with a lung thing and had to be on bedrest and couldn’t go anywhere. They told me if I relapsed again, it would be life threatening for the baby.

My husband went through some things too. And he was taking care of our two kids while I was contagious and pregnant.

I gave birth via csection in May.

I just had my postpartum appointment.

Doctor said we are good to go.

But literally the day after I went to the doctor, I started my period. The first one postpartum.

It was heavy. And miserable.

Plus our newborn has not been well since birth. We have had to sit up holding him all night in shifts. We don’t even sleep in the same bed. One is always in the living room holding the baby per doctors orders.

But my parents are here for the 4th. My mom held him all night last night and I slept like all night and half the day. I didn’t even move. And I usually toss in my sleep. I’ve been exhausted.

She’s offered to keep the baby up tonight.

And I’m finally off my period. And my husband is off work today and tomorrow. So he got to nap too while my parents took all 3 kids.

It’s been months. MONTHS. And I’ve had a baby. My body is certainly not the same.

But I miss him. I’m a nervous wreck. I’m hoping he’s interested. Because I’d like to take advantage of the break and the little bit of sleep.

Maybe I can entice him. But I’m hoping my own nerves and confidence doesn’t keep me from

Relaxing.

🤞🏼