Emotionally Drained


Ttc has become such a chore and is causing tension and frustration in my marriage. I’m tired of constantly peeing on a stick - either for a opk or a pt. I’m emotionally drained. Waiting, hoping, disappointment, peeing, sleepless nights. We miscarried in April and it was the worst feeling. Worst than seeing ANOTHER negative but the negative sucks in its own regard.

My husband now says I only want to have sex to get pregnant, not to enjoy it. And sometimes, yeah that’s right, I’m tired after work and working out but it’s go time. Other times it’s not at all the truth. I missed a prime day on Sunday because we went out in the afternoon and he got drunk and came home and slept. He was running late this morning so we couldn’t and now the window has passed. It’s SO frustrating!

I’m so tired of seeing pregnancy announcements on social media. Yes, I am happy for them but deep down I’m sad. And mad. And jealous. And even have the ‘really?, them AGAIN?!’ thought. Please tell me I’m not alone?? 😔

Not sure if being on this app helps or only makes me more drained while trying to convince my husband it’s NOW or we wait another month. Ugh!!! And please, do not say ‘just relax, it’ll happen when it happens’ because that doesn’t help.

P.S. my dog and I are sharing the bed tonight so I can cuddle and shed a few tears without having to explain myself.