This is more of a vent than looking for advice, although I welcome your prospectives.

11 years ago when I was pregnant with my twins and my oldest was 2.5, I ended up on bed rest. I have a wonderful and supportive husband, and we had things under control. My mom has always hated working, and she insisted on quitting her job and coming to stay with us every single night to "help" while my husband was working. Although I appreciated her, I also felt some resentment, because I had wanted to enjoy those last few weeks of my oldest being an only child by spending time watching movies, reading, and playing games with him. Instead she would take him upstairs "So I could rest." Then I overheard her on the phone with my aunt talking about how she "had" come take care of me and how hard it was for her. We had repeatedly told her it was unnecessary.

Now it is 11 years later, and she has been at her new job for around 10 of those years. Her and I have both been through some health scares and are both getting older. (I am 38, she is almost 60), I appreciate that my time with her may be limited, and I want to value and respect her.

I am currently pregnant with my 4th baby. My mom has hated working for as long as I remember. Her mom was a SAHM when she was growing up, and I am a SAHM to my boys. Her one sister has always been on disability and never been able to work, and her older sister had a great job that allowed her to retire at 45. So my mom has been resentful of having to work for years. I truly do understand that.

This morning, she just text me that she got tired of it and walked out on her job. I believe that she is thinking in her mind that she will use my pregnancy and new baby as an excuse why she can't go get another job or hobby, and that she will want to be intrusive.

It is now up to me and my husband to find the balance between setting firm boundaries (better than we did 11 years ago!) While also being respectful and appreciative of her. She suffers from depression which causes her feelings to be hurt very easily, so we have to be careful to choose our words very carefully. I have already talked to my husband about my fears, and we agreed to take it one day at a time. It is going to be hard to be firm enough to get our needs met while also being soft enough to protect her fragile emotional state.

Thank you for giving me a platform to vent!