How do I take care of me?

Question

Baby girl is 8 weeks today. I love her so much.
But.
She’s not easy. She doesn’t nap well no matter what I do. She’ll get fussy because she’s tired and then only nap for 20mins OR she’ll knock out but in my arms, her swing, or somewhere else inconvenient or not safe.
She’s easy to put down at night, but during the day is hell. I barely have time to wash bottles and eat something...I don’t shower unless my husband is home and I never have time for laundry or housework. 
I see my friends with tiny babies and they are baking and sh*t. How?! 
I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Idk. And then the evenings are hell. She fusses from 6-bedtime. Sometimes hardcore screaming. I’m so tired and beat down. 
Husband has a trip for work at the end of the month and will be gone for 5 days. It’ll just be me and baby.....I’m worried about being able to take care of both of us. I will always put her first...but I have basic human needs that I’m having a hard time meeting. 
I’m scared it will never get better. And we have to stop swaddling bc 8 weeks...so that’s gonna be fun. What little sleep I get at night is about to disappear.

Answer

I haven’t read through the other comments but here is my advice: step aside for 20 min; let her cry. She’ll be fine. A crying baby is a breathing baby. Put her in a bassinet in your room and take your shower; put her in her swing and wash the bottles or eat a quick meal. Yes, she might scream her head off, but she’ll be okay. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom, or that you’re doing something wrong, or that you love her less than the next mom. If you are not properly taking care of yourself, than you can’t be 100% for her either, you know? I struggled in the beginning with this. I was so scared to put her down and let her cry why I went to the bathroom or showered or whatever. But by the second week I put it in my head that she’s going to be fine and that it really is in her best interest for me to get things done - like shower or drink some water or do the laundry. Also, check out the Love To Dream swaddle. It’s amazing. It’s a zip swaddle that they go in and comes with the option to keep their hands covered or to have their hands uncovered. I’m pretty sure it’s perfectly fine to use post 8-weeks, as I could have sworn I saw that information on their site. My daughter loves hers; the moment she starts fussing, I zip her right up, put her in her dock-a-tot and she’s quiet within a minute or so. Definitely check it out. They’re sold at Target and BuyBuy Baby, as well as online. 
Just take a deep breath! You’re doing great!

Answer

I’m sorry! It does get better though!!!! Why do you have to stop swaddling at 8 weeks?

Answer

You can swaddle! You’re supposed to stop when baby can turn from back to tummy

Answer

This has been me before and still at times. I find her crib is always a safe place, even if she’s crying so you can shower or something. Take a monitor with you ( i do) if it makes you feel better. When I shower I have her in her car seat in the bathroom with me so I can see her or RE insert the Soothie(get one if you don’t have one). ASK FOR HELP if you can, even if it’s just so you can shower.

Answer

I feel this so deep. I’m a single mom and she’s 10 weeks. I can barely shower 😭 some days I legit can’t even go to the bathroom I have to hold her on me while I poop like I feel gross. I smell like baby puke. My hair is a mess. I’m just.. ugh lol I’ve never felt so unattractive in my life. I LOVE her I do but I wish she would quit fussing and act like other babies I see that are all content and quiet. She just recently started scream crying in the evenings and I’m just tired. I look like I’ve been run down by a train.

Answer

My son is 8 weeks and just recently started to fight naps during the day unless he sleeps in his swing (a habit which I'm trying to break). He does sleep through the night and is still swaddled during the night. Why do you have to stop swaddling?

Answer

My baby is 8 weeks and we are still swaddling (in the love to dream arms up swaddle). Are babies not supposed to be swaddled starting at 8 weeks?

Answer

going through the same thing he sleeps great at night will only wake up twice and my boyfriend gets mad bc that’s when i want to clean and do everything i need to do. but why do you stop swaddling at 8 weeks? mine is 7 weeks and sleeps better at night in a swaddle

Answer

Preach girl! My daughter is exactly the same. BUT she doesn't go down well at night, and wakes up at LEAST 4 times a night, most nights she wakes up at exactly 1:45am and stays up tell my husband leaves for work at 6am! It's this is my 3rd baby, never have I had such a difficult baby, I don't blame her but I feel you on the personal needs thing, i always look a damn mess and cant get shit done. :(

Answer

This is also my exact situation. Barely functioning. My first baby was similar around this age and it gets better but we are in the thick of it. 
Can he cancel the trip?
Can a friend come visit and help?
Can you hire a nanny to help a couple hours a day?
I would throw some money at the problem. 
And also - my baby carriers are the only way I ever eat or get dishes clean. Laundry only happens in evenings.

How do I take care of me?

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