He doesn’t want kids

I’ve always gone back and forth on if I want kids. I’ll go from 3 to 1 to I’m gonna die alone to 2 to 1. At times I feel like I’m really content with my nephews and nieces and couldn’t love anything more. Other time I can only deal with them when they’re happy. Like babies scare me. I nannied my one niece from a few months old to 4 years. However when my other was born I left lost and I was actually scared to babysit. There have also been days where I just want a bunch of animals. But having a child just seems like one of those life experiences that you must have. Like marriage or going to college. However I haven’t thought about it much until my boyfriend said his view

My boyfriend decided he doesn’t want kids. He likes them but he doesn’t want his own. However when we began dating, he’d talk about being a dad. We talked about the what if I accidentally got pregnant and he said he’d step up. However now he’s set on no kids. I brought up how I’m more scared of raising a child alone. He didn’t assure me this time about stepping up. He just said that that’s why he’s paranoid about cumming in me.

Now I’m just flip flopping. I want to just go with the flow but I’m scared that I’ll decide I want kids later and then it will end in heart break. Like it just feels like I’m walking down a path where my decision is made.

I’m like this on everything. Careers, schools, or my views on the world. Like I was dead set on veterinary and now I’m not. Like I can’t make my mind on anything

How long until you guys knew what you wanted?