I Had Sex for the First Time Today...
My boyfriend and I decided a couple months ago back that we wanted to have sex together. He started coming to my house more often while my parents weren't home, and we got to know more about each other intimately. I made sure to be on the pill for at least a month, and he found condoms that made him feel comfortable.
I'm not worried I got pregnant or anything but the thing is, at first when he was trying to penetrate me it was difficult to do so. And I would tell him to be more gentle and I could tell he tried but it still felt too forced. He got the tip in and it hurt so much I started crying. He stopped completely and told me comforting words. After I calmed down and felt more relaxed I still felt pain but I wanted to give it another shot. Everything felt like it was going down smoother tbh. I got him to climax even though I didn't, and I peed right after.
But as I lie here, I can't wrap my head around what I did. I don't feel ashamed. I don't feel proud. I felt happy after but it kind of faded an hour later.
It still kinda hurts and I just wonder if it's something I want to do again. Am I doing everything right to take care of myself and my partner? Does it hurt every time?