Bad GF??

Question

So I’ve been living with my boyfriend for 1 yr now. He has a 4 yr old daughter and every time she stays with us he has her sleep in bed with us. He’s a very affectionate person and I enjoy every moment of it so night time for me is our time
To have intimacy private pillow talk and cuddling. With her sleeping with us I have to be mature about it and understand she needs him more than I do. I also have an 8 yr old daughter who gets upset when we don’t let her sleep with us but he allows his daughter to sleep with us every night . I have never really allowed my daughter to sleep with us. I just don’t understand if my daughter wants to play with her and sleep with her why he does not support her or tell her it will be ok. His daughter wants to sleep with mine but pushes her not too. He pushes her to always sleep with him and I feel like he babies her too much. I don’t know if this will change or something I should be concerned about. I mean as us both parents would like advice on how to be more understanding of this. I get to the point where I almost just want to sleep on couch or with my daughter.

Answer

At 4 she shouldn’t be sleeping in the bed with both of you, that’s a very important age and I feel 4 year olds enjoy being independent with their own beds.

Answer

He should be encouraging her to sleep by herself at her age. I can definitely see why your daughter feels upset, she's literally being left out.
Maybe get some literature for him to read about the importance of teaching kids to sleep by themselves.
If it's not going to change I'd leave. Your daughter's mental health is at stake, not to mention the older his child gets the weirder it's going to be to have her in the bed.

Answer

This isn’t fair to your daughter at all. She is completely being left out of this family time. He needs to rectify this situation. I don’t understand why he won’t let the girls sleep together.

Answer

I mean, if it were my boyfriend and his kids I’d let them sleep with us. That’s the time he gets with them so why not let him embrace it. I’m sure there will come a time when he’s finally tired of it. But while she’s somewhat willing to sleep with her dad let her. If your daughter wants to sleep with you once in a while let her. Embrace the moments your kids want to snuggle you. You get every night in bed with him you can sacrifice a few. One day those kids are going to want very little to do with you guys and you’ll regret not getting that bonding time. Especially you’re 8 year old, it’s not a problem for a kid to want to sleep with their mom there was times I wanted to and it broke my heart when I wasn’t allowed to. She wants her mom and snuggle time let her have it.

Answer

Were kind of in the same boat. My bf is very affectionate and he has a 6yr old daughter that sleeps in bed with us as well. I dont have any of my own. She sleeps very wild...I love her to death like she is my daughter but I feel she is getting too big to sleep in bed with us and it's not a very huge bed..me and him literally just had this conversation and he said he just wants to spend as much time as he can with her when he gets her..which I definitely understand. Plus his bm told him she doesn't want their daughter sleeping in bed with us and he still allows it. She has her own little cute room and bed and he still allows her to sleep in bed with us. I started sleeping on the couch to respect his bm wishes. I'm currently sleeping on the couch now. Idk when he'll start making her sleep in her bed. But when she turns 7 I think he should definitely encourage her to sleep in her own bed..

Answer

Shes 4... i really dont see anything wrong with it shes still little and he wants her close. Your daughter ia 8 shes already a bit older and understands. My daughter is 4 and sleeps in her toddler bed, but most nights she gets up goes to our bed and gets in between. Neither of us have ever denied her sleeping with us. She feels safer and comfortable.  We sometimes forget that our kids might look older be more independent,  but at the age they are still little. Im not saying ur wrong, but maybe work something out with him some nights she can and some she can sleep with her sister.

Answer

Why are your concerns about being a bad gf and not a bad mother??? 
Your daughter is out there watching you guys be all cuddly and one without her... I'm sure she feels left out and wouldn't be surprised if she was lonely or started acting out because of it 🥺

Answer

He should be treating both kids the same, regardless of the fact that only 1 of them is his. Your daughter will pick up on it and wonder why she doest get the treatment the other kid gets. He really needs to stop babying her before it really starts getting even more weird

Bad GF??

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