I give up
Im broken. The one person who i never felt i had to worry about hurting me did, with no reason as to why. Itd be different if he didnt love me anymore, fell in love with someone else, didnt find me attractive anymore but he says its none of those things. I try to talk about what happened and its like talking to a wall. I want to stay, i want it to work but i dont trust him and i feel like eventually I'll resent my life because ill spend all of it second guessing if he really loves me. Or even if he ever loved me. Im broken and i have no one to talk to about it and no where to go. I just want the world to swallow me up and drown me. I have no joy in anything anymore, and i feel like a failure and an awful mother and ugly, and fat, and unwanted, and used up, and that i am not good enough for anyone to love and that no one will care enough about me to not hurt me. Or to be there for me. Or to even give a damn. I just want to give up.