A little background: I had a c section after 18 hours of labour that wasn’t progressing and her heartbeat on NST was not reassuring. My doctor recommended a c-section as she knew I had low amniotic fluid and we took it, Without a second thought. And good thing that we did, there was barely any fluid left in the sac and cord was wrapped around her neck twice. She would have never made it in a normal delivery. I thank god my doctors timely decision everyday.

I had a friend and her husband over for drinks and dinner yesterday. My friend is a sweetheart but her husband is an obnoxious pompous man who bullies everyone, including my friend (but she is happy with him so it’s not my place to criticise him in front of her). Anyway while we were having a glass of wine and waiting for my husband to get back from work, conversation turned to our daughters. ( her girl is 1 month older than mine.). So we were discussing how many tantrums these girls have picked up now they are almost 2 and how much we miss little infants they once were, and maybe we should have another child now.

This man suddenly says to me and I quote- “ Easy for you to say. You chose the easy way out. Got a c section and snip snip it’s over in 10 mins. Real births are painful and strenuous on women. It take courage to plan again. You wouldn’t be able to tolerate a real birth’.

I was so shocked at that. I mean I felt so angry at him. While his wife too looked like something had hit her. I said “maybe i didn’t push her out but my birth was just as real as yours”. And then he goes like- “yeah c section isn’t a real birth. It’s a choice people who can’t take pain make. If you don’t push a baby out you dont deserve to be called a mother”. Before I could say anything my friend started scolding her husband so I just walked out to set the table for dinner. I was so upset that I barely spoke at the dinner. My husband asked me a few times at dinner that why I was so quite. I told him later after the guests had left. He was furious. He wanted to call this man and give him a piece of his mind but I stopped him.

I know the response was mild but I couldn’t think of anything else to say in that moment. Maybe I should have said more. And my friend looked so humiliated at that I didn’t want to humiliate her more.

I know these people chose a hospital which prides itself for normal delivery only. My friend had 22 hours of labour followed by 6 hours of pushing. The baby was stuck in birth canal. So much so that even with forceps and vacuum it took them several attempts to pull her out. Luckily the baby didn’t suffer any damage or issues. I tell her that she had a tough delivery and she is a hero always.

But just because I decided to stop my labour and go for a csection at my doctors advice doesn’t make me weak or unfit to be a mother. I did what I though was best for my child Nd I would make that same decision again in a heartbeat. I hated what he said to me. And I felt so humiliated and judged. I felt so belittled.

I don’t know if I should let go of this issue or how to deal with this. What do you guys think?

Rant over!!

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