Deep depression and a sense of loneliness
I constantly feel like I’m drowning in a sea of loneliness. I go to work and am kind of an outcast, I’m the “new” girl and the youngest and only Caucasian medical assistant and my only really friend got moved to our surgery unit. So at work i feel alone. And when i come home my boyfriend is asleep and then he has to get up shortly after to go to work and he works all night. I have no friends. I have family but we only have one vehicle my boyfriend and i and he takes it to work so when he’s gone I’m stuck. It’s just me and my dog and she is amazing and I love her but it’s not the same as the human interaction I crave. I call my family and ask them to come see me it’s only a ten minute drive but they never have time or energy for it. I feel so alone. I have so much to talk about and so many feelings but I feel like there is no one to share them with. I’m always alone. I am depressed. All I want to do is lay in my bed on YouTube and just listen to the voices of people so I don’t feel as lonely. I have prayed and begged for companionship. Especially a child. I long so badly to be a mother but with pcos and after 3 miscarriages alas I am childless and I feel like less of a woman because I cannot function well enough to have a child. I just feel a sinking feeling that i will always be alone. I get one day a week with my boyfriend when we are both off but he sleeps most of it so again I’m alone. I just can’t get out of this spiral of loneliness. I’m so tired of begging people to be around me.... I just want some love and interaction.
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