Guilt confession

This may be silly but it’s something that has been weighing on me so I just need to get it out.

I’m 20 and a full time student with two part time jobs. I don’t get very many hours at either job, but it’s a little boost in income. Maybe like $500 or so a month. My parents pay for my school and my car and help me out with money when I need it. I live in an apartment with my boyfriend and another couple, close by to my parents’ house.

I try so hard to stretch every dollar, while still being able to do cheap fun things every so often or buy my boyfriend a small present or snack just to be nice.

But I feel like I have to ask my parents for money so often. And they’re not bothered, but I hate it. I feel so inept, like a child playing pretend that they’re an adult. I feel like I’m taking more than I give back no matter how hard I try. They don’t mind helping me and remind me often that I’m only 20, that I’m still in school and doing well, that it’s okay to not be fully independent yet. But I feel trapped by my lack of savings. I feel frustrated that I can’t get more hours. I’ve been thinking about stripping because it seems like the best way to get the money I need with the schedule I have. I just feel like a horrible leech that has to run to mommy and daddy when I don’t have enough money to buy some fucking tampons and a gallon of milk. I try so hard to save but it doesn’t seem to matter. I hate it. I’m trying not to question my self worth because of it, but my roommates all work way more hours than me and never get help from their parents. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.