Terrified of giving birth again 😫

I am starting to get really anxious about giving birth to baby number #2. I’m only 13 weeks and I know I have time to prepare but I’m already so worried about it.

With my first I had really painful non productive contractions for almost 18 hours before I was admitted to the hospital. They put me on pitocin and broke my water, and saw baby had pooped in the womb. Then the baby’s heart rate dropped and I lost too much water so they had to put fluid back in me and stop the pitocin which halted labor entirely. Another almost 24 hours later (3 hours of pushing) I finally had my son but he developed air pockets in his chest and was rushed to NICU for the next five days until they dissipated.

I feel like I was so traumatized by the whole ordeal that I’m not going to be able to focus and have a good birth this time. Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice? Sorry for the long post!