So lately I’ve been having a lot of people tell me that I’m lucky my bf is a good dad, lucky I have help, they’re glad he stayed, how good of a job he does.

Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my man to the fullest, he works 8-12 hour shifts 5 days a week doing landscaping. He comes home and he’s attentive with our son, he loves him to the fullest, he makes him laugh,smile, and happy, he supports our family, and puts us first. He helps with nightly feeding too and has taken on the dad role.

But I can’t help that not everyone chooses the right partner, has kids too soon/young, has unprotected sex with people they barely know, has a dead beat dad, stays in the wrong relationship and then things go down hill from there, or whatever the reason is that they don’t have a good man in their life that steps up and help with their child. It takes 2 people to have a child, it’s a team commitment, and it should be equality with helping and raising a child as much as possible.

Just because I’m a stay at home mom doesn’t mean I sit on my ass all day. I work around my infants schedule when he’s taking a nap I do dishes like unloading/putting away, I wash/dry, put away laundry sometimes multiple loads of each mine, babies, and bf’s. I clean up the room because it gets cluttered quickly when I get behind on stuff, cook dinner, take out 2 elderly dogs every couple of hours, change diapers, refill/wash bottles, entertain an infant. Do grocery shopping, and anything in between. Some days I get more things done others I fall behind because my infant may take two 2 hour naps for the day or he could take a 10 minute nap, 1 hour, two 30 minute naps. But before you know it it’s been 8-12 hours as well and my bf gets home.

Did we have the same job all day? No. Are we both tired? Yes. We both appreciate the hard work that we each put in and the sacrifices we both make.

My bf doesn’t get to see our baby learn as many things, see how he thrives, doesn’t get to see everything that makes him smile, doesn’t know each of his cries from another. But mommy does, mommy know his hungry cry, his fighting sleep cry, his wanting to cuddle whimpers, his angry holler. And he misses out on being in his life as much as I get to.

As much as I love the mom life it gets stressful and tiring and it sometimes feels like there’s more pressure to do good or better even tho I’m already doing my best. When I’m in a public place I get mean looks and stares while my bf often gets warm smiles or sweet comments.

In the end me and my bf work as a team and are both equally committed to our son, just in different ways.

Looks I get 👆🏻 Looks he gets 👇🏻

And don’t get me wrong dads should get praise! But moms should too. Yes I know I’m lucky to have a wonderful man and father for our son. But it’s also about choices.

I ended up with a good man because I didn’t settle for less, we got to know each other, we’ve been together for almost 6 years. We treat each other with respect, as equals, communicate, and are committed to building our life with each other. Are we perfect? Of course not. But at the end of the day we’re happy.