Don’t know what to do.

I need some hope or kinda words or advice. Idk. I’m so tired. I’m so exhausted mentally and physically. My baby girl is so beautiful and I feel so lucky but I’m feeling like I want to run away. Or not be here. Then guilty that I feel like that. She deserves a good mom. A patient mom. I’m none of those things. We have our good days but I’m just wanting to give up. If someone asked to have her for a couple months I’d probably just hand her over. I shouldn’t feel like this. I want my old life back. I don’t want to fight with my significant other. I dont want to be so angry. I just want a fucking break.