Scared to know...😭😭😭😭

So we've been wanting to get pregnant for a while.. I got my period back in June.. now about July 12 - 15 I only spotted.. I've been feeling weird and a bit picky on my food.. a bit nauseated randomly that makes me think I might be but I'm so afraid to take a test.. I'm do for a period around this coming Friday.. its been sure a long wait and I don't want to get disappointed.. I'm already 40 with 2 teen girls and he has his own child but we would really like to have one together..😭😭😭😭😭