I start my first year of high school on the 12 and I’m so worried. Last year wasn’t good at all. I found out my dad was an AA, had my first bf, let me tell you how that went. I liked this guy for awhile, I told my so called friend at the time k liked him and she threatened to tell him if I didn’t by the end of our lunch period. Well me being me I was too scared. So i didn’t but she did. He liked me back apparently and was waiting outside of my classroom for me to ask me to our school dance and to be his gf, I said yes even tho it was going against my morals. I just wanted to ask him to the dance... Friday night came and it was a Hawaiian themed dance and I tried to look as pretty as possible. Night goes on, I was awkward because it’s me and I’ve never had a date before. The. The slow song comes on and I had just walked out of the bathroom then some kid came and found me telling me Cole was looking for me. He grabbed my hand (Cole did) walked me to the center of the room and danced with me. Wildest dreams. That was the song we danced too. We went on dating for a month and closer to the end I knew what I was doing wrong. I shouldn’t be in a relationship. I’m too young I told myself. The next day the day after our one month I dumped him via letter. The next 2 days I felt extremely guilt. But it was also because he told me he loved me on the second day of dating me! That was too much too quick. So I dumped him. 4 days go by and that so called friend was dating him! After I told her I screwed up and I was going to talk to him the next day and I didn’t see my phone until computer lab, that’s when I found he was dating her! I felt like I was stabbed, it hurt so bad. He never told he was going to date her, I figured his I was going to go date a guys friend I would at least told him so he wouldn’t be blind sighted like I was. Next couple days I was a mess. I’ve been bullied all through last year, and I had also found of dad need to go to AA recovery. So it was hard having all of this throw at you all at once. I hadn’t talk to him in 2 months since he started dating that do called friend. Then the school year was coming to a close when I had a started finally talking to him again. But he had another agenda when we start talking again as friends, he said he fell in love with my best friend. She started to like him back. That made the last bit of my last a living hell. But I let her do what she wanted because who am I to control her? So I let their whatever take its course and I was crushed again... wish I would have been selfish and just told her how I really felt. But I didn’t, so I just let things happen.

At my grad party I realized my feelings were still truly there so I told him, he dated me for a week then dumped for the same so called friend. But it wasn’t that hurt the worse, he said his parents were making him dump me. That was a lie, just seeing that fact he went after that other girl.

The whole point of that story is that he told me sooooo many things I thought were lies but some were true so I was always conflicted. I’ve always been in secure about myself and he’s made it worse. I guess my over all question is do things get easier in high school or worse? Is it always so complicated?

Also here’s a pic of me.