*long read*

I started bleeding bright red on Thursday when I went pee only, made the toilet water light red, it looked like a lot. But no cramps. After I called my drs office and they. took. forever. I finally talked to an OB nurse and she said to wear a pad and go to the ER if I fill a pad in less than an hour. Since bleeding is sometimes common for some women they didn’t set up a dr appointment. But they did set up blood work to be done. Okay.... I listened but I was still scared. Went in as soon as I could.I never filled a pad and it only added up to one skinny line on my pad by the end of the day.

The following day (Friday) it was brown and only when I wiped was it light light pink. Call the office again (still worried) they say they can’t tell anything until Monday when I have my next blood draw. Because of levels rising every 24-48+hrs. They also say brown blood is old blood and that if it’s just spotting it’s okay. It only added up to a circle of brown blood on the pad. Not even enough to reach the sides of the pad.

Saturday morning nothing at all except some light pink sometimes when I wiped. Then at night I felt a need to use the restroom and I had this min of severe pain that went away in 15 seconds. When I looked down the toilet was full of blood. Just like the first time on Thursday. I couldn’t tell if there was tissue inside because I started crying but it didn’t look or feel good to me. When I wiped there was small tissue. I for sure thought this was it (still do). I had mild/period like cramping the rest of the night but no blood. The pad just looked “dirty” by the time I went to bed at 1am.

Sunday every now and then some cramping. Light pink when I wipe and small spot of light pink on the pad all day.

Today, monday. I go first thing in the morning to get my blood drawn again. They tell me to call after 5 hrs. So I wait. No cramping. No bleeding. (Could it have been that “easy” for me?) maybe some pink when I wipe sometimes. Nothing on the pad. I call the office because they don’t call me. They don’t have the results yet, they’ll put me in a queue so they call when they do come in. Closing time comes... then goes.... I’m exhausted at this point with how long these people are taking. An hour after closing the OB nurse calls me... she checked before she clocked out and nothing yet... how is this normal. She tells me they will call in the morning if they come in.

At this point I wish I would’ve ignored the OB nurse and just gone to the ER even though I didn’t fill a pad. At this point I’m 95% sure I have/am miscarrying and holding on to 5% of crazy unrealistic hope. I just want to “confirm” so I can move on from this crazy nightmare. No OB office should work this way no matter how many times they hear this story or how they can’t “help” if I am miscarrying. I should be able to get fast and helpful answers.

I just can’t deal with this anymore.