How has your partner adjusted to your new baby?

Question

What does he do to help? Especially if your breastfeeding, how else is he involved?
Looking for advice, something to compare to.
My fiancé has not adjusted well, I don’t think he’s bonded with the baby and I do 100% of the work even though he only works 3 days a week. There’s some days he doesn’t even hold him once. 
Thanks in advance!

Answer

My partner has adjusted well but needs my prompts on occasion 😂
The first days/nights after baby was born he was FANTASTIC! He did all of the nappy changes and looked after baby so I could catch up on my rest. 
He’s still great but like I said, he needs me to prompt him somewhat. I do exclusively breastfeed and usually get hubby involved with feeding by asking him to burp baby after a feed. When I remind him hubby will also do tummy time as I feel like that’s good bonding for them both but I do this too. He’ll also watch him for a few hours during the night if I need a rest. In general he’ll just cuddle him, play with him and talk to him etc. Hubby will also help me out by getting me a drink or making my dinner etc. if I’m feeding. 
My son is 4 weeks today.

Answer

My husband has taken 3 weeks off work to help. He has been doing night feeds 11-5 as baby doesn’t sleep at night time and then I wake up and he goes to bed from 5-12. He also has been doing the dinner every night for our 5 year old. 
I’ve been suffering with pnd and he’s determined to help me get better

Answer

Mine was super good for about a week then he stopped.  If I don’t ask he won’t help.  I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose tho, I think he just doesn’t see that I need his help. It was really stressing me out for a while but now I’ve gotten used to just handing him the baby and telling him I’m going for a walk, or to shower or to clean etc.

Answer

Try to take some alone time for yourself after baby is well fed and happy and just hand your LO to your partner. Even if it's just 10 mins while you shower or eat something or get a chore done, it gives them some bonding time and lets you get a break at the same time. Its been working great for me and my BF. Sometimes ill just go eat breakfast on the porch by myself and it really helps me relax and it let's him be helpful and bond with baby at the same time

Answer

My husband does stuff...if asked. I breastfeed and I will often ask him to burp the baby when he is home. He will change his diaper if I ask. If I am busy and baby starts crying he will pick up baby and soothe him without me asking. Pretty much the same now as it was with our first child! 
He does more for our toddler without me asking, like make her dinner and play with her while I am feeding baby brother.

Answer

My husband went thru this with number 1 and even when I went back to work I would come home to her just laying swaddled on the couch while he played video games. It took him several months to really click and bond. We just had number 2 and he is slightly better but mostly avoids her and finds reasons to be with older daughter or busy all together. Hoping bonding kicks in a lil faster this time. He helps by putting our nearly 3 yr old to bed now so I can get the baby to bed. And he helps fix dinner...once I'm back to work that will fall on him as I work evenings and saturdays.

Answer

My SO is super attached to our baby boy. He spends almost every moment he can with him, and goes to all his doctor appointments. He does diapers, feedings, burping, tummy time... And he helps with the dishes, vacuuming and cooking. I'm so blessed, and honestly I need to show him that more often.

Answer

I’m so lucky to have my husband. From day one he’s done absolutely everything I’ve asked or needed. I had a caesarean and so felt very bed attached the first week. 
Our normal routine is that he changes the diapers, especially at night, then I feed him. Sometimes we’ll change him together. 
He also had been dealing with the finances, insurance. He did the shopping, trash and other house chores. 
I’ve been feeling better so I’ve now been doing more but my focus right now is to feed myself and baby.

Answer

He helps change diapers, I give baby a bottle in the middle of the night so sometimes he will give it for me so I can sleep. If baby cries and I know she is fed he will hold her and rock her. Most of the time I have to tell him what to do but as long as he does it I’m ok with it.

Answer

My partner does most of the baby care when he gets home from work, both to give me a break and because he really likes to snuggle with her.  He also helps me at night, normally I pump while he changes and feeds the baby. That being said my partner is in his 40s and this is his third child. He said this is the most confidence and involvement he’s ever had. It may just take some prompting and time for your fiancé to get more involved.

How has your partner adjusted to your new baby?

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