Why not me?

So all together I’ve had 4 miscarriages an eptopic, left Fallopian tube removed as well as my daughter being a still birth at 22 weeks. I do have two healthy boys so I’m at the point where I should just be happy and move on, but I can’t, I did not have one bit of maternal instincts with them but now I feel so ready.

I’m on my second round of Clomid have been trying for 4 years and still nothing. Praying and doing everything possible the right way still doesn’t make it work. I just don’t get it and I’m losing time and hope

Why do people that shouldn’t even reproduce get pregnant so easy? I just needed to vent and end of rant now.. sorry just need to get that out.