terrified of disappointing people. ☹️

so, i work as a CNA at a hospital on a very busy Trauma floor. I work 3, 12 hour shifts, sometimes more.

I’m 9+5 and have felt no problems, no sickness, nothing up until I hit 9 weeks,

now, i dread going to work. the smells have been so unbearable that, all i can do all day is throw up, to the point were i’m giving myself anxiety attacks because i can’t throw up anymore, just dry heave. I can’t keep anything down.

Lifting patients, is so hard for me, I get a weird shooting pain in my stomach and get very lightheaded.

Ending the shift, my body feels so defeated. it feels like i just got hit by a freight train. swollen feet, exhausted, throwing up etc. ☹️

I called out today, and i feel horrible! i hate calling out and afraid to disappoint my boss.

(she scares the heck out of me)

Also, I have a hx of a miscarriage and have been on and off bleeding since 5 weeks.

I’m just a mess, and feel like a big baby for feeling this way!