Anxiety and depression spike

Lovely. For the last few days my mother has been picking on me for not having a full time *real* job. Well excuse me! I said about working at multiple places and because I have a fucking degree in biology she thinks I should have a fabulous job! No! I want a job that I can think. So I dont have to think of my emotional issues! So I dont feel like I need to curl up in a corner and cry! Or rage and scream for no reason! I am tired of feeling beat up and stupid and a fuck up. I wish o had a bf or a bf to run around and sing and be merry with but no. I have no real freinds. I am uncomfortable around people and feel like the biggest outcast in the world. I dont fit in anywhere. I an a circle among squares.