(Sorry that this is all over the place) Okay sooo. Im 16. I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant. Just got out of a year long abusive relationship. I'm 4 months and 5 days clean from meth!!!. Anyways. My ex. He was um different. Before i met him im just gonna be completely honest I was a Whore. Like full on prostitute. Anyways. He got me outta the game. But what I failed to realize was he removed me from my whole world. I have no friends. I'm just now getting back into school ( dropped out when I was 14 and pregnant and went back after being forced by the courts this past year) i have severe anxiety, depression, bipolar1&2 bpd and addictive personality. Im trying so hard to like be okay without him. He became my everything. Its like i went from one full blown extreme bad situation to another without even realizing it. I haven't been taking my meds ( for mental health) because I'm pregnant. Im on effexor and it was really helping me a lot until boom pregnant. So i stopped taking them out of the best intrest for my child. My emotions are all over the place tho. I dont know if its from the break up or just me being off my meds or my hormones. Its like one minute I wanna cry and i miss my ex and the next I love myself and i feel like fuck my ex then the next min I spend a whole hour crying because I'm lonely. I feel psychotic. I wanna go back to him. But turns out the man who shamed me sooooo much for the entire year we was together for being a "meth head" is now doing what?? Yes thats right. He's selling and doing meth. So i know i need to distance myself from him for not only myself and my unborn child's well-being but also my sobriety. I keep texting him and he flips from one person to another i feel like idk he's tainted by my past. When I look at him i see the old me. He tried to sell me some when I tried to buy weed from him and he was full on like "YO TAKE IT BITCH FUCK THE WEED" I was like uh dude no. Its horrible. I feel so fucking alone. Im Dead ass basically homeless. Me and my mom are waiting on housing. I feel like im fucking up sooo bad. School started a whole week ago and i haven't been. I stayed up every night until like 20 mins b4 i had to go to school and then I'd crash. I gotta stay in school to get my check from s.s.I. that's the only way i can comfortably be able to support myself and my child. Ugh. I feel like my world is falling apart. I just wanna be a good person and more importantly a good mother. Idk why i posted this I think i just needed to rant. Lol. Sorry if this has NOTHING to do w this group but I started on one topic and rambled into 100 others. Anyways. Any if u have any tips on anything I described pls comment.