I thought this was black and white, but apparently it isn’t. If a grown adult child lies, should a parent agree to cover for them?

I will give you context, but please note I am aware there are bigger issues going on in this story and they are certainly being dealt with. Those parts are far from controversial, so I don’t need your opinions. Ha.

My husband told me he was visiting his mom and brother in Florida. He actually went to Europe with his brother. (I know) His mom blatantly lied to me several times. She stated they had been with her all week and she even once said, “yeah, they left today in the truck and are headed home.” They were in Denmark at the time. 🙄

When I confronted her about it, she told me I was “out of control”. Granted, I wasn’t very friendly about things. I asked her not to contact myself and infant daughter anymore.

My husband asked me to be the bigger person and make things right with her. She is very selfish and never apologizes. I did reach out and this is how it went...

Me: I am sorry I threatened you with Autumn, I shouldn't have used her as a pawn just because I was upset. I was deeply hurt by the role you played in the situation, but I just want to move forward and mend things. It is important to me that we be on good terms and that you have a positive relationship with Autumn.

Her: Thank you .....Autumn and family are important to me...

*These texts were simply copied and pasted

She obviously still feels she did nothing wrong. I personally feel that parents shouldn’t cover for their grown children. If your child is making a potentially destructive decision, shouldn’t you intervene or at least not play a role in assisting with the mistakes they are making?

I can almost find it understandable to be aware of the convoluted plan and not tell me, but to just blatantly lie? That crosses a line for me. I would absolutely never cover for my child in this way. I would point out her wrongdoing and possible consequences.

What are your thoughts?