How do you do it ?

Question

During my 38th week of pregnancy I found out my bf was cheating and now I’m a single mother of a 3 week old. I am struggling a little. I go days without drinking or eating and I know it’s effecting my breast milk. How do you ladies find time to pump,shower, eat, drink water, do laundry, pray lol ???? Any advice. My baby won’t let me put him down and I want to manage my time better

Answer

Baby wearing was a god send for me. My husband got sent to training for 3 months when my son was a month old, I would just strap him to me and let him nurse while I did what I needed. Babies go through so much in the first couple of months that make them act clingy, whiney, and needy; remember you’re everything they need and as overwhelming as it is that’s just motherhood. It’s okay to step away if you need but it’s also okay to try to work with your child as well.

Answer

Baby carrier 🙌🏼 get yourself in a routine with baby. Ive never been a single mum but my partner only took a few days off after each baby and works a lot so I’m on my own most of the time. Slow cooker is a lifesaver, I put it on in the morning and it’s ready by dinner! Always make extra so you have meals to freeze for lunches and dinners. I put laundry on before I go to bed and hang it out in the morning. Always keep a large water bottle next to the couch/bed (wherever you feed the most). I know how overwhelming it can all feel in the beginning but once you get the hang of  it you’ll be okay. Please prioritise eating and drinking, don’t be afraid to ask for help every mum knows how hard it is!

Answer

Are you breastfeeding or just pumping?  It’s much easier time wise to breastfeed than to try to pump when you have a baby to hold. Do you have any help from family or friends? Can you pay a neighborhood teen or mom to come help?   Or a cleaning service?

Answer

It’s okay if the baby cries a little bit. Put him in a safe place so you can shower. I’d wheel the bassinet into the bathroom and yes sometimes he would cry but I needed that time for myself and to feel human again! Stock up on easy things that you like to eat that don’t require too much cooking. Put water bottles, Gatorade, juice everywhere you sit to feed baby so they’re in your reach. Little packs of crackers, chips, granola bars are easy to grab and eat. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of a baby! If you have any mom friends/family reach out to them. Maybe they can hold baby and you can nap/take a walk/clear your head! Having another adult to talk to is important! They can go with you on a shopping trip to get the things you need. And know that this newborn phase will pass and it will get easier! You got this!

Answer

I didn’t pump, so that freed up a ton of time.  I also ate convenience foods. I bought those little juice boxes like for kids lunches and kept them near my nursing spot on the couch. I also often ate (admittedly not so healthy potato chips) on the couch while nursing or holding a sleeping baby.  Brushing a few crumbs off my baby’s head was just easier than dealing with dishes or meal prep. 
But if you are going days without eating then I fear there’s more going on mentally and emotionally that’s making it harder for you.  Do you think you might be depressed? Do you have any nearby family or friends you could talk to?  I went through a really rough time in my life when my first was born and I know I just sort of clung to my baby and stayed in a little shell where I just went through the motions of caring for her and didn’t do much else.  I didn’t reach out to anyone. I didn’t feel like dealing with anyone. But in retrospect I think it would have been better for me to try to get out of the house a bit. 
I think you should definitely try to bring up your struggles at either your baby’s next well check or at your OB followup visit. Your baby needs you so you need to make sure you take care of yourself too.

Answer

You have to create a schedule that works for you and stick with it. Eventually the baby will adjust. Good luck momma, and good for you for sticking up for yourself ❤️

How do you do it ?

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