Can’t stop lying to myself

Every single month I tell myself “This month I will not test early!” “This month I will wait till I miss my period so I can be sure!” “This month I will wait until I know I will get a strong line!” “This month I will not stare at my negative test for hours until I force myself to see a line!” and obviously I will be able to wait because “This month is different!”

...But here I am on 9 dpo getting ready to leave the house to buy pregnancy tests to take first thing in the morning because I just can’t wait any longer. Knowing I’m probably going to get a negative because it’s still to early and just break my own heart.

And then my period comes and I do it al again next month.