The week before last my nana passed away.. but a few things happened prior to her death that made me question how she actually went..

My mom had called me a few days prior to her passing saying my nana wasn't going to get an operation and was going to go into hospice care... And then apparently asked my mom to "let her go.. because she was tired... She couldn't do it anymore"

That Friday I made a surprise visit to see my nana since I'd finished a project up for a client and had planned to deliver it to her that day.. visit with my family for a bit then go back home... I saw her, her hairdresser came in and did her hair, while I was there and both of my uncles were there but my one uncle's wife and children weren't there.. which was strange to me.. because they always come with him.. and my mom was in a rush to get dressed and go make sure none of my nanas assets went into probate.. but I mean my nana seemed fine.. for an old person.

Saturday afternoon, my mother called and told me my nana passed away.. then went into detail about her death... Like she told me my uncle heard her gurgling at 5 am.. and he checked on her and told him she was fine.. he went back to sleep then my other uncle got up around 7 went for a bike ride.. then he went to Starbucks got her a drink and came home.. but my mom was the one who found her around 9 am and she told me my nana had stripped her clothes off and her oxygen tube was laying beside of her (she had COPD) and that she was in full rigor (which takes 12 hours) and she thought my nana died from a heart attack.

Well my mom told my brother my nana passed in her sleep.. and she told my dad she found my nana on the floor of her bedroom naked without her oxygen tube in... So it was all so strange..

So, I began to wonder if maybe my nana had asked my mom and her brothers to let her go, with dignity, because my nana wasnt the type to be waited on.. she was the type to care for others.. I honestly couldn't imagine her losing all of her independence.. having to rely on a nurse to care for her like I had watched happen to my papa 2 years prior.. it was a long painful process to see my grandfather lose all of his independence.. and I couldn't imagine seeing my nana go through the same ordeal.. no matter if that meant keeping her for a little while longer.. it would be selfish to try to keep her.

Well as my husband and I go over this for the millionth time I asked him.. if we had to deal with this later with our parents.. would we let them go? My answer was I would from the get go.. but my husband went from no way to.. yes after we really sat there and talked about it.. and thought about our parents not having their Independence and just wanting to leave with some dignity.

So would you let a loved one go if they asked you to let them go? How bad off would they have to be before youd let them go? And if you were the one who wanted to be "let go" when would your letting go point be?

I personally would want to be let go of before I'm left drooling all over myself, shitting my pants and unable to do anything for myself.. some assistance would be fine prior to me wanting to go.. but if I'm completely reliant on another human doing everything for me just let me go because I don't want to be a burden to others.. I don't want my family to watch as I suffer until I die.. like that just isn't for me.. I'd gladly go out before that point.