(Rant) Starting highschool

Im gonna rant a bit so I’m rly sorry you don’t have to read it’s a bit long so, sorry 😅 Basically I’m going in 9th grade and I’m sorta having a breakdown. I’m not nervous about the learning or test because I actually enjoy homework/test (I already know I’m a freak 😂) Its just just that my middle school and high schools are mixed together which basically mean I’m gonna be with the same people as last year and the year before that which I hate. Last year I broke it off with almost every friend I had because they were toxic and made me feel terrible about everything about me which I already do to myself so I don’t need 5 other people to do it for me. So now I only have 1 friend there and I’m only in 1 of her classes the other classes I’m alone and I have no friends and I know everyone there so they already have their own groups so there’s no chance making new ones plus my social anxiety wouldn’t even allow me to talk to anyone because I’d try to talk then run of to the bathroom and hyperventilate. But my school does A LOT of group project and since I have no friends I’ll either be alone which gives me as much a panic attack as being with someone I’m not familiar with or I’ll be with someone I don’t know. Plus I’m getting braces soon and that’s also giving me a panic attack, see I can barely go out of my house with a new shirt I bought bc I’m scared of judgment let alone come to school one day randomly with braces.

Anyways I’m sorry for wasting anyone’s time I’m just having a panic attack in my bathroom and needed to do some sort of ranting. (Sorry it’s really long!!!!!)