Second child guilt?

Question

Hi Mama's, maybe it's just pregnancy hormones, but I was wondering...
I have 20 days left in this pregnancy and I'm starting to feel an incredible amount of guilt that my older child, my sweet 2 year old won't be an only child anymore. My main focus. It's been us this whole time. 
Did anyone else go through this? Does the guilt go away?

Answer

I went through this bad. I was an only child and was very close with my mom who died when I was 18. I felt like I was taking something away from my son😭. But honestly my daughter who is now 7 months old loves her brother more than anyone else and he is very proud of her. They're 4 years apart. He keeps asking me of we can have 10 more babies. Point is having more family to love is a plus for everyone.

Answer

Yep, had that. I felt guilty my first wouldn’t be an only child anymore, and would have to share attention, and I also felt guilty that my second would never get to experience being an only child and not having to share the attention. It was also around the time the movie Boss Baby came out, and that didn’t help AT ALL. My oldest looks like the boy in the movie too. 😂 They’re 3 years apart, but they are 5 and 2 now and BEST FRIENDS. Honestly, the guilt passed pretty fast once the baby was here and I saw how in love my oldest was. He is a proud big brother for sure.

Answer

I always envisioned having two or three kids so I knew that my oldest was an only child for a limited time only. I became pregnant when he was 10 months. Now we have a beautiful newborn girl, and he is really sweet with her. I sometimes feel guilty as well but it really helps to think that my family was always meant to have more kids and it was just an incomplete stage when we just had one son.

Answer

I'm due sept 9th and I am so feeling this!! lord I hope it goes away once this little guy gets here.

Answer

I experienced this my entire pregnancy and the first month after my second was born. My second was unplanned so I think that made me feel more guilty, I had been expecting a couple more years with just my oldest. My second is 3 months old now and sometimes I miss just having my oldest, which makes me feel like crap, but mostly I love having both of them. My oldest loves his little brother, he’s already so protective of him, that definitely helps me feel less guilt.

Answer

I am pregnant again and I have a 10 month old and 9 weeks pregnant. The guilt is so heavy that I just cry because I feel like I am abandoning her at such young age. I think this is normal to feel and I’ve heard when you see them playing together or the older child loving on the baby you will feel better! Hoping it’s true! For now I am trying to be happy for this coming baby and try to not feel guilty. 
You will do great and figure it out!

Answer

I absolutely felt like this and I just had my daughter a week ago! For me, once she was born and I saw how much my older son loved her I was so happy❤️ sometimes I still feel guilty like when he’s asking for something and I’m nursing at the time but I think it’ll all work out.

Answer

This is a normal feeling. My son is 1.5 and I am definitely mourning not having him as the center of my world anymore. Before he was born and when he was new I mourned the loss of my husband being the center of my world. Acknowledge those feelings then let them pass.

Answer

Yes to both! My guilt was awful. Everything from being in the hospital and not at home those nights to having to travel back and forth to the NICU and being gone for long stretches. I knew he was well cared for and having fun while I was gone, but the mom guilt is so real (and I felt guilt every time I left baby in the NICU at the end of the day). 
I know that in the end, neither of them will remember this time. He’s enamored with her and we are learning our new routine. But I can tell when he needs time that’s just us (usually of course while I’m trying to prep dinner and baby hits witching hour).  Seeing him with her, I know I didn’t ruin his life. But he did have a hard time with me gone in the beginning. I felt so guilty that I knew I couldn’t make it through FaceTime, but I did record me reading a few of his favorite books and singing some songs so he had something special when I missed bedtime.

Answer

I think it’s normal.  My daughter will turn 17 y/o in November, me and my husband are expecting our first in December and I feel like I’m abandoning her slightly.   She only has 2 years of school left before going off to college, I already struggled with feeling guilty about taking time away from her when me and my husband got together and married last year.  I think if I didn’t feel a little guilty it would mean I didn’t care. She has had the market cornered on mom for 17 years and this is an adjustment for her too but she’s taking it in stride.  (The teenage comments about how the baby better not keep her awake when she’s trying to sleep for school have become more like, “I hope he doesn’t have my lungs and scream like I did”. So it’s progress)

Second child guilt?

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