okay so it’s my third day of college and classes haven’t started yet but i feel so overwhelmed. it seems like everyone at my university knows one another and i’m just sitting in my room watching shows w my roommate doing the same across the way. when i look at some of the ppl i graduated with they’ve already met new people and gone to parties and had late nights and did fun stuff. and it’s crazy to me how ppl make friends so quickly.

in high school, i had no friends at my school. my friends were from dance and they didn’t go to my school and they were all younger than me. so i didn’t go out to games, or hoco, or prom or anything. college is my chance to redeem myself bc my high school years were so boring and i hated them, but i feel like i’m failing rn.

i try to be nice and meet people but people don’t reciprocate. and when it comes down to going out i’d rather go with a group rather than by myself and one other person. it’s so hard for me to make friends bc the people that do want to talk to me and be nice, i feel like i can’t be my full self around bc we have very different personalities.

i’m 18 and never been to a party, never had a group of friends my age, never been kissed, never went to prom, i don’t have any memories i look back and smile on, etc. i feel like my major inexperience and my innocence make it hard for me to be friends with people my age and it SUCKS. what the fuck am i supposed to do? how do i fix this and actually make friends? i feel like i act childish bc i had no teenage experience. also i’m to wary and paranoid so i’m not ever gonna go out and get drunk and party. what am i supposed to do? i’m so lost.