Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids?

My fiancé and I are getting married in the mountains (Banff, Canada) around Christmas. We picked the date because it’s the slow season for my work (as well as most of my friends) and it’s easiest for my family to attend then while they’re living overseas. The dates also worked for his family. We’re paying for the suit rentals as well as the bridesmaids dresses, shoes, hair and makeup.

I’ve asked my bridesmaids for three things:

1. That they wear simple jewelry that’s either pearls/diamonds and white gold/sterling silver. Or no jewelry if they choose.

2. That they don’t complain about my dress choice considering I’m paying for it and I’ll wear whatever dress they pick for their weddings (and I have) without complaint. I’ll dress like a pumpkin if it makes them happy.

3. That when they accepted they could agree to getting to Banff and we’d cover the hotel costs. And that they’re able to be there for three nights (bachelorette, rehearsal and wedding).

No one complained at all when I picked this. Everyone was happy to comply. However, now I’ve got a bridesmaid complaining that I’m asking too much and that this wedding is costing them thousands. Now, this bridesmaid lives 3 hours away and is intending to drive with another bridesmaid to split gas. The cost of gas shouldn’t be more than $200 to drive there and back, so that’s only $100 for her and her husband (and that’s the total they’d spend to get to and from the wedding and for the whole weekend) Other bridesmaids, friends, family are paying thousands to get to the wedding. I spent $2,000 to get to her wedding, and paid for my own hotel, food and dress all of which was nearly $6,000 plus her gift. I really don’t think $100 (and she doesn’t even have to get a gift) is that much to ask. I’m covering everything else besides her gas. And both her and her husband are professionals with excellent salaries so $100 really shouldn’t be a huge issue. And if it was then tell me!

She’s complaining about the dress too and I’m at the point where I just want to say screw it, don’t come. She doesn’t have to pay for the dress so why whine about the colour? And if she thought it’d be anything but pink she’s crazy because anyone that’s met me knows I love pink.

I’m just so frustrated. I don’t want to be a bridezila, but I know I can be a little nuts at times when it comes to planning and get overbearing.