^ didn't know what else to title this 😂

So me and my boyfriend have tried anal a few times. The first time, I was really curious and it was something I wanted to do. It was okay, I think I enjoyed it the most that time. But every time after that that we have tried, it's just not enjoyable for me. It either hurts too bad or makes me too uncomfortable.

I know my boyfriend is really into it and its something that he wants. (He's told me & Ik all the porn he watches is anal) I just can't bring myself to enjoy it. A part of me feels ashamed that I can't and feels like a bad girlfriend. Thoughts? (oh and he's never said anything mean or made me feel pressured, these are my own thoughts)