So I just had a baby 4 months ago

And my mom after never seeing me finally came for his birth.

(Background: when I was 12 I moved out of my moms in Washington and moved in with my dad in Montana because of a very poor living situation. There were drugs and cops and rats. And I slept on the floor it was really bad. And for the past decade I’ve seen her maybe 7 times, four of those brief encounters were of my own volition in the past 2 years. I saw her once when I was 14, once when I graduated high school, and once at my baby Eli’s birth.)

Now she came out to see me and the baby about two weeks before his birth (the longest I’ve spent with her in years) after continuous prodding on my part. She was a total B**** to me. She wouldn’t eat my meals, or drink water from my tap, or even use it to brush her teeth. She said that the water had bacteria and my dishes were dirty (they were not) she only ate fast food. So for two weeks she had me driving her around town to different fast food joints so she could eat because she doesn’t like home cooked meals. Even though 9 month pregnant me made them. She ended up spending about $450 on fast food in two weeks even though she didn’t get me anything for the baby. $450 that she took from her homeless father. And everything that came out of her mouth was a complaint. She called my city racist, like that makes sense. She called it dirty, and full of drugs and said everyone was an alcoholic in a gang (I live in Missoula Montana it is none of those things) and like she had room to talk coming from SEATTLE one of the dirtiest drug ridden cities around. She complained about not being able to smoke her pot in the house, acting like she was making some grand sacrifice.

Then we get to the hospital for the induction and she forces me to have the tv on the ENTIRE TIME. I don’t like tv, I didn’t want to watch hgtv while having CONTRATIONS but if I didn’t do it she would go into bitch mode.

So after two days of labor I finally have Eli via Emergency C-section. We go through the whole Spiel all the family and flowers etcetera. My mother would not be in the room with anyone else, she refused. Every time someone showed up to support me she would leave the room and not come back for hours.

Then to top it all off after like 6 days in the hospital we get home, I’m hobbling around from my C-section, my husband has to go back to work and it’s my first baby. She LEAVES the day we get back. thank god for my stepmom Wendy If she hadn’t been there I don’t know what I would have done. Probably curled up in a corner and cried.

So fast forward four months to the present, I try to talk to my mother about that whole thing and how she really upset me and she straight up ignores me. She hung up on me. THEN goes and tell a bunch of family that I was being a B***** and I was interrogating her and I was being really mean to her. So now I look like a bad guy for wanting an apology.

I want to have a relationship and I’ve tried so many times but she’s just so self centered and she refuses to have a conversation about the bad blood between us. I don’t know if I can even have a relationship with someone who refuses to resolve anything.