I feel like I'm going a bit crazy. I miscarried in February, and we have since stopped any efforts TTC. We still have sex but not near ovulation time. I don't go on Glow except to log my period and if i want to check out the community for questions.
Well, for the past couple of days I have been seeing what I'm wondering are signs. Shapes in the clouds, vivid pregnancy dreams, a double rainbow on my way into work today and I got a box of baby formula and coupons in the mail. Which of course set me off because I lost my baby and have no need for these things. Also, I have to look at a lot company websites for my work and i keep coming across maternity clinics, day care centers, baby related thing basically.
This is coinciding with my fertile week and we actually have had sex twice now in this fertile window. I feel like I could get pregnant which I would if course be happy but I'm so scared. I don't want to go through another loss. I don't want to make room in my heart for another baby that never comes. I don't think I'm going to be able to enjoy pregnancy for fear of a loss.
I'm just struggling with feeling any kind of hope, but i feel like these signs keep coming.