Emotional appreciation post *long*

Andrea β€’ πŸ’™ Boy Mama πŸ’™ TTC #2 πŸ‘Ά #PCOS 🐈Cat MomπŸˆπŸ’10/6/18πŸ’

Our one year wedding anniversary is in October. It's been a wild, emotional, exciting year full of so many changes. We've had ups and downs and everything in between. And I wouldn't change a thing about it. We went from planning a rather large wedding this July to me having a meltdown about it and just wanting to get married so 6 weeks later we had a very small wedding and looking back on it now it was perfect. All I could think about for so long were the things that went wrong that week and the day of. I was tired, he was tired, I was sick of making decisions, I was over emotional, his vows got lost and we will never get them back, I didn't preserve my flowers in time so now they are dried up and sad, we were on a tight budget and time frame so things didn't go the way I imagined. I had 30 minutes to do my hair and makeup, 20 of which my mom was at her house instead of my sister's and I came unglued because I needed her help with my hair, a chipmunk got ahold of our cake and my sister had to fix it πŸ˜‚ I hate how I looked in the photos. I gained over 60 pounds from birth control and medical issues and my self esteem took a major nose dive. We never got a first dance. We were so exhausted at the end of the day that I felt we didn't get to enjoy our wedding night (it ended in tears and a drive home) I kept finding all these little things and honestly, I'm ashamed of myself now. I married my best friend. He loves me and puts up with my antics and does so much for me. He makes me ugly laugh all the time and he gives the best back scratches 😍 my wedding was perfect. It was busy and crazy and I was so emotional but it was perfect. All I wanted was to marry this man and I couldn't ask for anything better. Was my wedding anything like the pinterest boards I obsessed over for years? No. Did I lose weight before the big day? No, I gained. Did a lot crying and bickering happen? Yes. But he stuck by my side and my family did so much to put it all together for us. The food was amazing, we had the most important people in our lives there, his vows were beautiful, my flowers were everything I could have ever dreamed of. My wedding dress, although different than what I had planned, means so much to me because my mom made it and re-did it over 3 times until I was happy with it. The only thing I wish I could go back and change is my attitude.

For our anniversary we are both going to re-write our vows and we are so excited for it. I look at my pictures now and it makes my heart full and happy. A family friend did our flowers and they were stunning and my dress was pink like I always wanted and so special to me. I just wanted to share because I'm all up in my feelings this week and feeling grateful for my husband as we are facing the emotional rollercoaster that ttc can be right now and it's been a brutal last few days. And look at all these pictures that were taken of me ugly laughing. This man is my soul mate and gets me in a way no one else does and he makes me laugh even when I'm sad and don't want to. Enjoy the picture spam of me looking like a chunky doofus πŸ’