Bladder exstrophy

Today my unborn baby was officially diagnosed with bladder exstrophy, up until a couple of days ago I didn’t even know it was a possibility yet it has very quickly become my reality.

I went into my 20 week scan excited to find out the gender of my baby only to find out a couple of days later that the only way to know was a blood test because of the condition.

Basically what the condition means is that within the first few days of my baby’s life they will have to undergo one of quite a few major surgeries.

The thought purely terrifies me.

Although they told me there is nothing I could have done differently to prevent this from happening I can’t help but feel like I have failed my baby already.

Every time I feel them move or kick it just reminds me of the fight my baby already has ahead of them.

I feel like I’m floating in limbo right now, I feel so numb but also just purely destroyed. I don’t even know how to begin dealing with the news and I want so badly to be strong for my baby but right now I just don’t know how to be.