I’m laying here in our spare bedroom not sure of how I should feel about my husbands desire to have sex with me. I can’t compose my thoughts into a coherent paragraph right now so bare with me...

1. I am 12 weeks postpartum and I have absolutely ZERO desire to be intimate and don’t see that changing in the foreseeable future

2. I am extremely unhappy with how my body looks right now. It literally went from tight and perky to lose jiggly and full of cellulite oh and my ass is super flat now

3. I am self conscious of how my vagina smells now, doesn’t smell bad just stronger? I’ve also not gone back to waxing because I’m scared of it hurting my scar from my 2nd degree tear so I’m rocking a full on bush which isn’t like me

4. I am turned off by the fact that my husband reminds me of how horny he is probably every other day and that puts pressure on me to get over my insecurities which in turn has the opposite effect on me

5. When he asks for sex he makes it about his own pleasure and doesn’t talk about me being satisfied (this wasn’t the case before baby)

6. Out LO is a bad napper and it’s very important for me to try practicing some sort of routine but if I don’t lead the way hubby won’t participate. Main reason I want the routine is so that we can have more alone time during baby’s naps and at night time (if we can get baby to sleep on his own instead of between us then we can try to get our sex life back or at least fit in some cuddle time)

7. I’m honestly so exhausted and busy throughout the day that sex is the last thing I want

8. I know I shouldn’t let this get to me but seeing many other moms on here talk about how they have already had sex several times makes me feel inadequate like what I’m experiencing is out of the norm.

I just want to feel normal again. I feel like everything that is happening with my marriage and the baby is out of my control and I can’t handle it