Rough night

WARNING: VENTING AHEAD

My kid did not sleep at all last night. I am exhausted, which is making me frustrated with her (and resentful), which is then making me feel SO guilty. Ugh. I know she can't help it.

So here are a few things I'm majorly struggling with:

How in the hell am I going to manage going back to work soon?! My job is physically & mentally challenging. I am losing focus at home & haven't had to do anything demanding yet.

Why does my husband insist on talking to me while the baby is screaming in my arms? I can't hear you.

Why did no one tell me how lonely breastfeeding is?! Its not magical, it's not fun, & it sure ain't easy. I feel like a dairy cow. Moo.

My husband & his useless nipples are minimally helpful. See above regarding breastfeeding. Therefore baby cries when she's with him, which makes him anxious & me annoyed. Back to major mom guilt on this one too. It's not his fault, he wants to help but ugh. Momma needs a break.

The exhaustion is setting in & I can feel myself becoming forgetful and easily irritated, especially towards my poor husband.

Icing on the cake: I've been on my period for 2 full weeks now. So much for the magic of breastfeeding keeping your period away. & birth control, both of which are lacking.

Where is that hormonal baby high every body squawks about to make me feel better?

That's all for now.

Edit: she's 8 weeks old