How do women deal?!

Question

I'm so sick of having to pay Bill's, Be the house keeper, the cook, the personal shopper, the main parent, the appointment maker, the girlfriend. Just because I have a vagina doesnt mean I should have the majority or the weight on me. I'm tired of having to ask him for "help" around our own place. Wtf is wrong with men?

Answer

Honestly, I think the best thing to do in situations like this is to create and adult version of the ‘chore chart’. Having specific jobs assigned to each of you sets up agreed upon expectations rather than just ‘I wish you’d help!’ 
My partner and I have never argued about the balance of tasks in our relationship shop because we discussed it before we moved in together. 
My partner pays the mortgage and the bills, he maintains the yard - mowing, whipper snippering, building garden edges etc, he takes the rubbish out and then takes the big bins out to the curb each week, bring the laundry in if I’m not home to do it and now he empties the dishwasher. 
I buy the groceries, do the cooking, wash the clothes (though he’ll put a load on if it’s a sunny day and I’m busy), keep the house clean, and do thorough cleans when needed. 
I’m currently pregnant and felt overwhelmed so I asked if he could take over emptying the dishwasher so I have one less thing to do and because bending over repeatedly like that makes me SUPER dizzy. 
Occasionally if I don’t feel like cooking I’ll ask him to cook or we’ll go out to eat. 
We both generally pick up after ourselves but at the moment our house is a mess because I’ve been pretty fatigued and just uncomfortable with my pregnancy and my partner is busy studying. 
Once our baby is born and have more kids down the track we will continue to reassess our ‘chores’ to make sure we are both happy with our work loads.

Answer

It's not all men. You need to have a serious talk with him. If he won't change, you need to decide if you want to live this way the rest of your life.
Working isn't an excuse to not be an active partner in the home. My husband works, takes care of our four kids, cleans and cooks. We both do. Because we are adults.

Answer

Stop doing it then. He’s not your child

Answer

I dont know your particular situation but my husband works 12 hour shifts in a tire factory, hot sweaty hard labor and I'm a stay at home mom. He makes the cash and I take care of the house, our child, the Bill's and his needs. Yea sometimes I feel how you're feeling but it usually fades. I'm glad I dont have to do his job lol and thankful for what he does for us.

Answer

I love doing all of those things because I pay NO bills, cut grass, put gas in my car, or touch the garbage. I don’t mind at all.

Answer

I see in the comments that you have already talked to him about this. I'm sure with children it makes things challenging, and you are both working so you feel that the house hold duties have an uneven power split. Especially since you both fincially contribute. I'm sure at this stage given your frustration levels you are probably feeling the strain in terms of your emotional connection and partnership with him aswell. As he is either not understanding, not listening and/or not respecting you feelings and position. 
At this point, what you are trying to elicit from him is an understanding of how much work goes into running a household. So at this juncture given what you have written I can only suggest three things.
1. You could try couples counselling. This would give you a space to discuss the problem with a mediator. You both get a chance to express your perspective without it devolving into a fight. You can also work on strategies to help fix the problem.
2. As one of the other posts comented. You could create a chore chart. Get a monthly white word. Put it somewhere prominent. And divide the chores, specifing who and on what day. You could even alternate days. This way he gets a visual of all the things and time that is required. 
3. If you are wanting him to start stepping up. You could also do a phase in. So write out the shoping list. Give it to him along with the kids. And tell him he needs to get this done or there will be nothing to feed the kids with. Tell him you are book for doing something else. And do that. Book in for you to do something either for the house, kids or for your own mental health. 
I wish you the best. I hope this helps.

Answer

It’s not all men. Mine is a firm believer in splitting financial and household responsibilities 50/50. Women put up with the type of man you’re describing, which is why they keep acting that way. 
We need to up our standards, ladies

Answer

I think the problem here is you picking someone who doesn't want to do anything.
Not all men are like this and those who are haven't gotten a lecture from their woman about whay living together actually means

Answer

I'm sorry but all men aren't the same..... I work and so does hubby but he does almost everything as me besides cook as often..... And he mostly pays the bills 🤷🏾‍♀️

Answer

This is not all men. In fact, that’s more of a boy than a man. My boyfriend and I both work very physically demanding jobs, my job is actually more busy then his as well. We both put in the work without complaining. He actually does a lot for me, he knows I feel more tired and stressed caring for my son from a previous relationship then being freshly diagnosed with lupus that landed me in the hospital for a week. We are considerate of each other.

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