Y’all, marriage is hard!!

I know some of y’all on here are like “uh duh” but dang... I was so madly in love with him going into this marriage and now 4 years later I have contemplated his murder probably at least a dozen times. I came 👌🏼 this close to just packing my crap and leaving a couple of months ago. He cheated in the beginning of our relationship a few times and I forgave him but I never forgot. I became depressed and wanted to split over 2 years later. Like I said, I came close but he convinced me otherwise. He hasn’t done anything like the sort in a while and really seems to be trying to better our relationship. So here I am, agreeing to work on our marriage. And I am happy with my choice but I know we have a LONG way to go to get where we need to be. How to build a connection with your partner again? We have been toying with the idea of counseling but there has to be other options too?