I feel as if this is all my fault.


This is the worst feeling in the world. I can't eat, I barely sleep, I feel as if I'm going to puke at any minute or completely sh*t myself.

My best friend and husband went on a trip with some guy friends and ran out of his antidepressant( he has really bad anxiety) , and hasn't got them refilled yet. He's been on them for a little over a year now.

He was acting a little weird when he got home, but I know he usually is always a little sad when we'd get back from vacations.

Well in the middle of Starbucks parking lot, he tells me that while being away he realized he missed affection and that I'm not as affectionate as he'd like me to be, and that he basically wants to separate.

My heart literally hit the floor and shattered.

I know I'm not a super affectionate person my family isn't very affectionate and I have a hard time with PTSD from a disgusting cousin who couldn't keep his hands to himself, and he's known that too since we first started dating but he I guess thought I'd become more affectionate as time progressed.

I've always wanted to be more affectionate, I want to be the first to grab him for a kiss or what have you.

I also know he's told me in passing he'd like for me to be affectionate, and we'd talk about it but with 2 small kids under 5, it's been hard.

He never told me it was to the point where he'd like to end our marriage or I'd gone to therapy long ago and tried to be more affectionate.

I told him, that I think we could do some marriage counseling to see if this is something we could fix, but I don't know if this is from not being on his medicine or what, but he doesn't think working this out will help. But he doesn't know what to do, which kills me because I don't want to be hopeful and it crush me.

I feel as if this is such a huge life change and it all happening the week he's off his medicine and his emotions are higher than normal.

But this could be just me not wanting to except that his could be the end.