Need Advice

My husband caught me sexting with a guy 2 months ago. Since then I have entered counseling to see what the problem was with myself. I noticed several anxieties and self destructive behaviors in my past relationships and I wanted to know why I ever did this in the first place. Counseling has helped me see my shortcomings and certain issues that I have in my life and relationship with my husband.

I asked my husband to go to counseling because I believe he needs someone to talk to. For my breach of trust, his broken childhood, his first wife, but he said he didn’t need any help.

Okay, fast forward to last night. I have several friends that are guys. I had been having a conversation with one from work and it was very innocent. My husband caught me talking to him. When he asked, I lied because I knew he would get upset with me. I know I shouldn’t of lied. I own what I did. My progression in counseling has been amazing but I still have my issues. His reaction was unexpected. Instead of being angry, he flew into a blind rage. Throwing my phone repeatedly. He threw my kindle, destroyed my flat iron, and punched a hole in our head frame on the bed. He wrapped his hands around my throat and shook me. Grabbed my arms and squeezed. Called me horrible names.

He’s been this mad before but it has never been directed at me in such a manner.

When he finally came down, he was broken and started crying and apologizing. He can remember everything he did. While I shouldn’t have lied to him, he said I didn’t deserve that kind of reaction. After this reaction, he told me he needed to go to counseling too. We both need to work on ourselves so we can even have a marriage. I’m wanting to be patient like he is being with me. But for once in my marriage, I don’t know if I need to be here. I’m wondering if a legal separation would do good until we can both get counseling. Or maybe even decide if we need to be together. I’m not perfect and I’m working on being better. But I don’t want my shortcomings to be the trigger for such a reaction again. Sorry for the long post but I don’t know what to do from here.