Okay so I have a core group of friends that I have been friends with for a couple months (just started a law school) so we’ve all be practically inseparable. The group consists of myself , another girl a gay guy (J) and a bi guy (S). So this past Saturday myself and birth the guys went tailgating. They were drinking and I was not. I left and they were mia for a few hours. Later S texted myself and the other girl separately stating they had sex. The next day we had a get together and everything was fine. The next day talking to J he stated he didn’t remember any thing as he got black out drunk. (His black out drunk he is functional but won’t remember anything later). So speaking with him I informed him that S said they were intimate. J said that makes sense and left it at that. The next 2 days J was very distant and we I confronted him as to what was the matter. Summary he was upset and felt violated and that S raped him (he didn’t use those words) myself and the other girl were confused as to how we go to this point and we had tried to talk to us and he didn’t want to. Later that evening we were told we had meetings with the Title IX person.

My dialysis these are both my friends. In my honest opinion I believe S feels hurt, but I think it’s mostly because he doesn’t remember consenting as S is not that type of person BUT I know I wasn’t there so...

I’m very conflicted in my feelings. I don’t want to condone rape, but I don’t want to label my friend a rapist either .

I feel like I can’t be there and support both without invalidating the other.

Also all this his happening and we are just starting our 4th week of school