Need encouragement

I hit rock bottom today at least since I stopped breastfeeding. Breastfeeding was destroying my mental health and after I made the switch to formula, I felt 10x’s better. I got through the hormone swing once again while I was drying up. A couple days where I was upset but then I kept telling myself I will get through it, and I did without the need of meds. All it was was talk therapy and a lot of venting to my husband.

Today after attending a baby shower, I broke down and cried and cried and cried in front of my husband, and 2 month old. I told my husband everything that has been plaguing my mind this entire week. Side note, my period came back and so I think my hormones are out of whack again. I was doing fine until today. I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. It’s exhausting taking care of a baby all day every day. Then I get negative comments from both my mom and MIL. It makes me feel like I’m a bad mother. That I cannot do anything right. My husband used to help me take care of Georgie but lately he’s doing chores or working. I look at my handsome smiling little boy and I just don’t want to take care of him sometimes. I’d rather leave him in his crib and just watch tv until he cries instead of holding him. It gets to be a lot. Then I’m fearing going back to work in a couple weeks too! No matter how many times I take my mind off of it, someone asks oh when are you going back to work? I don’t want to think about it at all! Then there’s the house work and other misc things I need to do that just overwhelms me.

My DH told me to go do some self care for an hour. No baby stuff just something to help me detox. I am writing this as my form of detoxification. I just want to be told it will be ok and I’ll get through it.