In Law Issues

Heads up, it’s a long one 🙌🏼

We had our little boy July 5th. Months before his birth, we made it known that after he was born, my fiancé, my son, and I would be spending the first few hours with him to bond and so I could work on breastfeeding. We mentioned we didn’t want his face/hands kissed, no long visits at hospital or home (mainly due to breastfeeding), and to call/text before coming to the hospital or home. Everyone agreed.

The day I had my son, I was still being stitched up after my c section and my fiancé’s dad and step mom were trying to go in to hold my baby before I even had. My fiancé wasn’t happy, and told them no. They kept pushing so I let them in but didn’t want our baby passed around (a lot of family had been sick) so my fiancé just held him. His step mom proceeded to kiss him on the cheek. I just found this out recently, I was a little out of it after surgery. My fiancé’s dad got mad about our “rules”. When we got home, we invited them over to see the baby. They got here, held him, then his dad proceeds to lay into me about my rules, how it’s ridiculous that they had to wait even a little bit to see him that day, that I ruined them meeting their first grand child, and that they should be able to kiss him because “he needs exposed to germs”. His step mom went on to say she cried for five days because she barely saw him. I was livid.

My fiancé talked to him. A week later we invited them over again. His dad came, held our baby, THEN proceeds to tell us he shouldn’t have to call before coming because he shouldn’t have to schedule when to come. With breast feeding and just finding out our baby had reflux, uh yeah, please call. I think in general it’s a respect thing. My fiancé had another talk with him but honestly, I still don’t want to be around them. I never know when something will be said and I’m tired of it. Last time they came by, my little one had a cold so I just held him. His step mom proceeded to kiss him on the mouth twice. My fiancé wasn’t in the room and she told him she just kissed his forehead!

His mom is a whole other story. She lives a couple hours away and when she comes, she brings her drama. She has my fiancé send her pics and videos of our son daily, along with talking to her on the phone and if she doesn’t answer, she flips out. When she comes she doesn’t listen whatsoever, especially when he’s hungry. She will tell me “he’s fine”. She comments on the temp in our house, tried telling us we’re making up his reflux (that he’s on medication for). I am just so over it!

Anyone else have crazy in laws? Or suggestions for how to deal?