I feel like the worst parent ever

I hate saying this but I absolutely hate being pregnant. I have been sick from the day I got pregnant. I’m in and out of the hospital almost every week getting fluids because I’m so dehydrated. I cannot hold any food or drink down. I have bad pain from puking so much. I can no longer work because I cant stand for long anymore. I feel lazy and useless. My boyfriend has to do everything for me, including helping me bathe, taking care of all our pets and normal chores. I was put on bedrest last night at the Er because I’ve already tried every nausea medicine available and I’m still throwing up. I have to change my diet if I can even hold anything down. I’m so miserable anymore. Im literally only 19 weeks and I’ve been this way since I found out at 5 weeks. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me to make this happen. I know I sound like the worst person complaining about a miracle, I just don’t know what to do anymore