I don't know how much longer I can do this..

My newborn is exhausting, but my 3 year old has gone off the deep end. He has started refusing to sleep at night. This is the 5th night in a row he's done this. He SCREAMED until 3am last night.. Our neighbors could hear him. He only stopped because I finally gave up & let him sleep in my room. I'm not a cry it out mom, but he does NOT respond to any amount of talking, rewards, staying with him, nothing at night..I would have just let him cry it out, but he was continually waking up my 2 year old & turning her light on, throwing objects down the stairs, he's just been a RIOT. I don't know what to do & I just want to leave it all..

My husband tries to help too, but nothing we're doing works.. I don't want to resent my 1st born baby, but I've been so blue during the day because I feel like a shitty parent & a push over.. I love him but I'm also so mad at him. He seems scared at night, but he also just gets so mean & makes us feel like were abusing him. We spank, but no spankings work at night, which makes us feel even shittier.

If any of you with older kiddos have any advice, I'm all ears. I'm just so distraught..